my trip to ohio to meet the nephew

*the names have been changed to protect the innocent yo*


i leave work at 5:30 on friday.
Trigger and The new guy pick me
We go to my house,
i grab random clothes, stuff them in my bag.
we leave.
forget how to get to ohio but quickly remember
we stop in ripley to look for weed.
fail.
meet a cool guy at a gas station but he didnt have weed so he was no use to me
we stop in ravenswood and look for weed.
fail.
we play the ABC game all the way to columbus
Hardball txts me and gets me lost
we are lost in downtown columbus on a friday night.
sketchy.
asked directions from a cool yet sketchy kid named dustin making out with his girlfriendwe ask him for weed
he gets in the car,
sells us weed,
a bit late, he asks if were cop
he sends us in the right direction w a 5 dolla holla.
Hardball gets us lost again.
Trigger and i get on eachothers nerves bc were both aggitated
we forget about Sister and Hardball and go to Dash's
we go to 5 different gas stations looking for a blunt wrap
finally find one
Thanks Circle K in West Jeff Ohio
we watch movies at Dash's house and drink beer
we get drunk
we try to roll a blunt.
fail,
we smoke a cigaweed instead and complain about how much the weed sucks
we're high before we knew it.
creeper.
we decide Dash, Trigger and New Guy should call in tomorrow
they are peices of shit
New guy passes out
Trigger passes out
Dash and i play drinking game we made up
I pass out.

Saturday.
I wake up to the smell of breakfast
get the other boys up,
eat
Trigger makes up a lie about his car not working
we go to the hospital that looks more like a clinic
I hold a newborn for the first time and pose for a picture
Congrats Sister and Hardball
we hang out for about an hour and a half to keep the family happy
we leave and go back to Dash's
Delila shows up
we shower,
we start drinking 1:00pm
were drunk 3:00
we decide to go to dinner at a fancy restaurant
we stop to get a case of beer for road beer
we arrive at the restuarant but stay in the car drinking
Trigger pees in the parking lot
we fight with the parking meter outside
we go in and eat calamari drunk as fuck
classy.
Donna is our waitress
im drunk
Donna is cute
we leave, exiting through a hot girl mosh pit
i love my life.
we stand behind the building and smoke with Donna
she tells me im cute
she smacks my butt in passing
i love my life.
we drive around drinking more beer and singing corey smith at the top of our lungs
i have to pee but have to hold it
i hold it some more
i drink some more
i hold it some more
i might die
we go to kroger and i make a b line for the bathroom
i pee for what seems like 10 minutes
i drunkenly walk into the employee break room and turn around
this kroger sells furniture.
we chill on the furniture and drunkenly heckle passer bys
we go to Roosters to meet the Anderson family
Hemi is there!
hes three.
i dont eat because im so drunk
our waitress is hot
i forget her name
i eye fuck a blonde girl
i catch the blonde girl eye fucking Trigger 5 minutes later.
smut.
we get lectured and guilt tripped for not coming back to the hospital by Lobsterbush Family
we leave roosters get more beer
we go to Delila's
we play outside with Hemi
Hemi calls Tigger and The New Guy Mr. Farmers
we dont know why but we like it
we go inside in and play kings
we smoke weed out of a shitty bowl Deliah had
Deliah made lasagna
extacy.
Deliah reveals her infatuation with Crusty (our friend from home)
we watch the weddinging (Bro and Dash's wedding where i was a groomsman)
im drunk
New Guy passes out
Trihher passes out
i lay in Hemi's bed
its got wheels so when i crash it crashes into the wall
I dirty txt Kaka ( a lady friend from home)
i pass out

Sunday>
Hemi wakes me up
we say our goodbyes
we leave
we get lost again
we find our way
The New Guy is late for work.
i masturbate when i get home
i pass out.

ima smoke if i want to

i hate it when youre outside smoking, and someone feels the duty to advise you that what youre doing is harmful to your health. thanks fucktard, i cant believe no one ever told me that dangers of smoking. =)

Yo yo.

This is my first blog. Basically the point of it is just so I can make fun of people or vent or say clever shit. keep an eye on me.


-Ace